You deserve to be happy!
I’ve heard this so many times, it makes me sick.
If you listen to a friend, a therapist or a shrink , not to mention your parents, siblings or spouse, you will hear this a lot. “You are a good person and you’ve suffered so much, you deserve to be happy”.
But, by whose laws?
Because the world, the universe, has a different set of laws then we humans created. We are all centered on the idea of justice. Good person = happiness.
Neehhh, that’s utopia. That doesn’t happen just like that. The more you look around, the more you realize goodness often means unhappiness.
We do good and we expect to be done good.
So, I am sick and tired of hearing “you deserve to be happy”. It should be: there is nothing you deserve. You do not act in order to deserve something, to receive something. The way you act, and by this I understand “think, feel, act”, it concerns only you, it is about how it makes you feel, in the inside, and not what you receive from the outer world.
Happiness is grown within. You may receive slices of it from the outside. Simple things that trigger a blissful state. A song, clothes, shoes, food, rewards, good grades or a good laugh. But they pass. They are sparkles that go away.
I should believe I deserve to be happy, they say. I should deeply believe that.
But I don’t.
Like a secret they discovered and share with you. In order to succeed you need to believe, to know it as a fact, that I am worthy of happiness. Like a birth right.
But, am I?
Are we?
We don’t come here equally. I’m white, you are black. Short, tall, dark haired, blue eyed etc. Different. All of us. Some good, some mean. Yes, even from birth. Don’t tell me we are all pure stem cells when we are born, because we are not. It’s visible.
We go different ways, choose different paths, become even more different. Do we all deserve to be happy? Should we all believe we are worthy of happiness? Even a sociopath? A terrorist? A rapist? A cold-blood killer?
Because I’m sure they have a loved one who tells them they deserve happiness.
As long as I do not what is my purpose here on Earth, I cannot say I deserve this or that.
I function after my own set of laws. Because the Universe has its own set, which is quite hard to break, and I have a feeling that these laws do not favor us.
So, if I choose to feel in a certain way, or be kind to someone, I do it not expecting anything. From the universe or the people.
And I know, deeply know, that I don’t deserve to be happy more that my neighbor, or the homeless down the street does.
So, people, you are free to believe whatever you like. Whatever comforts and fuels you. Just let me be as I am. Happy or not. 
pictures credit: pixabay.com