Are you a person who can forgive easily? I’m not. Although I know the theory, it just doesn’t work when the time comes. I have often wondered “what can I do to forgive him, how to get over this?” and my whole soul kept saying “I’m suffering so badly, I don’t understand forgiveness”
Because oftentimes you know something in your head and feel different in your heart. And the heart seems to win most of the times.
I’ve recently found this video, and it put a smile on my face. I really liked what that woman said there. (I don’t know who she is)
It’s not about how to manage to forgive somebody, but what this brings.
Forgiving somebody has nothing to do with the person that was forgiven. (Or almost nothing. ) You do not forgive him to bring him peace or to unburden his conscious. You forgive him not because he made a mistake, that he was not paying enough attention, or he was forced to act like he did, but because what he is and what he did was so wrong, so ugly, that you want to break any kind of connection to that person. Even if the connection is at the level of hate or resentment. You forgive not because you understand, but because you don’t want any kind of energetic connection between you and that act/person.
“What you did was so ugly and wrong that I choose to ignore, forget and don’t care.” This is forgiveness, too.
After that you can be called a “free person”. Because you are free from evil people, from toxic people and all their actions. They cannot touch you.
For me, this approach has more common sense than the so much imposed forgiveness as an act of kindness and compassionate love.
Just give me a break with your compassionate love that we must feel if we want to be enlighten. Really, people, I don’t want the enlightenment.
You know why? Because as a human, I still want justice. I live among living creatures in a world full of rules, that we invented.
So, yes, I forgive you, out of pure selfishness. I want to be free of you.
She gives us the most amazing definitions of being free. Here they are, for anybody to sleep on them:
Free people are dangerous people
Free people aren’t controlled by the past
Free people laugh more
Free people see beauty where others do not
Free people are not easily offended
Free people are unafraid to speak truth to stupid
Free people are not chained to resentment
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P.S. I see this lady is Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber. She does look kind of strange for a pastor, right?
Good for her.
Featured picture of eagle credit werner22brigitte via pixabay.com